Scars
by HorseStar1
Summary: Judy never meant to stereotype, but she inadvertently did. After realizing the dangers of her own prejudice, Judy reflects on how she felt as a child, a freshly minted police officer, and how she felt some months into her new role. An introspective piece on Judy's evolving beliefs.


Without fail, Judy tended to see the glass as half-full. She liked adventure, and trying new things, and putting a brave face on even when she was scrambling. She liked making goals, and achieving her goals, and she loved to turn her dreams into goals. She would stand up for herself over and over and over again, and would achieve everything she set out to achieve.

Judy knew that she was unlike her parents or the majority of her siblings from a young age. She was braver, more ambitious, and friendlier towards the few predators in the Tri-Burrows. She even befriended a few, particularly because some bunnies thought that she was a tad...well, their word for it was 'weird'. Her parents remarked that she was _hopelessly optimistic,_ and prayed that she would somehow forget her dreams and settle. Right.

Then she put on her stage play in the local talent show, which perhaps terrified her parents even more. Especially when she came home with three gaping cuts in her cheek. Judy had tried to slip into the warren unnoticed, but one of siblings caught her and immediately reported the cuts to Judy's mother. Stu had positively flipped, worrying his hands emotionally as he tried to make sense of what had happened and what would happen should his daughter continue her brazen quest to become a police officer. This did not deter Judy in the least, but she couldn't help but feel the whole thing was ridiculous. Hearing about it from her parents became redundant, and she was glad when her fur finally grew over the cuts.

Her parents also warned her to avoid Gideon Gray...actually, they warned her to avoid all foxes, but Judy usually tried to tune them out when that conversation started... in the future, and Judy obliged. Not because Gideon had hurt her, but because she wasn't particularly interested in hanging around the unruly fox, anyway. She and Gideon Gray bumped heads from the moment the two met, even before 'the incident'.

It wasn't because Gid was a fox, but because Gid was a jerk and a bully. In Judy's eyes, he was nothing more than a narrow-minded simpleton, never to change and never to become anything more than a jerk.

Judy didn't outwardly fear predators, nor did she condemn them so quickly as her parents. She did believe that she could be every bit as successful as them, however, no matter how many times everyone else tried to convince her otherwise. She brushed it off, or used it to fuel her determination to prove them wrong. She wasn't blind, though.

Judy naturally knew that Gideon - and other preds - were bigger and stronger than her nine-year-old self. Almost all preds were bigger, but preds and prey were supposed to be equal. Most preds Judy knew growing up were friendly, though Gideon was another story all-together.

Beyond that, it wasn't like preds were endangered or anything. They could say what they wanted, do what they wanted, be who they wanted. Mammals like her - well, who ever heard of a meek, timid and cute little bunny becoming a cop? She would change that. She would, she promised herself. She always believed that it was her who had been given the short end of the stick. It wasn't fair, but life wasn't fair and Judy would do what she could to make the world better for herself and for other mammals.

Yet the image of Gideon clawing her remained tucked in her memory, scarred her cheek and a tiny corner of her heart. He hadn't cared, hadn't stopped; he'd simply unleashed his anger upon her and he had the capability to kill her. The sight of paw raised above her crumpled form never quite left her.

No, Judy didn't know when to quit. But the truth was, she needed to become bigger and better and stronger. She used what Gideon had done as fuel. She would use her own strengths to overcome whatever the world would unleash upon her. She would not be defeated and she would come out on top. Gideon had not beat her down, and Judy Hopps was going to make sure of that, over and over and over. That was what made her special in her drive - she had come out on top in the end and had accomplished what she had wanted so desperately to accomplish, despite the odds stacked against her.

But that tiny scarred part of her brain was still apprehensive, maybe even...she hated to say it...scared. Gideon hadn't cared. He had been cruel and malicious and he was the only fox Judy knew growing up and she couldn't help but wonder if maybe all foxes were like that, deep down. A mean or unkind word was one thing, but raising his paw against her? No, that was another thing.

It didn't make her prejudiced, though, Judy thought as she took the fox spray her dad held out to her fifteen years later. No, she had every reason in the world to be apprehensive.

She was right in one sense, and wrong in another; it was 'normal' for her brain to believe that foxes were dangerous, but she was every bit as prejudiced as she believed that she was not.

* * *

Judy knew she had screwed up royally as she crawled onto the train that would take her home, back to the Bunny Burrows and back to her parents. While he tried to hide it, her dad was elated that she was both safe and returning, but her mom seemed more concerned, as though she had sensed that all was not well with her daughter. After all her talk of making the world a better place. Ha. Instead, she had gone and proven herself to be a failure at that.

She had once believed, more subconsciously than anything, that 'meek prey' were the target of discrimination, but labeling and stereotyping predators had proven dangerous as well. She had ruined so many innocent mammal's lives with only a few comments. It turned out that she - and other prey - really could endanger predators. And the worst part was, she didn't know how to fix it.

So she fled, thinking that the world would somehow resolve itself. Without her standing front row and center, perhaps somehow things would come back together.

And then Gideon apologized, and that scarred part of her brain began to heal. I'm sorry, he had said. I'm sorry. Gideon, who had fueled her determination and desire to enter the ZPD - Gideon, who scared and scarred her once - Gideon, who came forward and apologized as though he had imagined and practiced for their encounter. And Judy was struck by the fact that it was okay. He was okay, and she was okay, and they were okay. He didn't scare her anymore, and she almost - she did - understand him a bit better.

He was capable of feeling, and always had been. Perhaps he had seen through her pretentious, do-good attitude the entire time, and knew that Judy maybe was slightly more prejudiced than she had let on. Yet Gideon told her that he was sorry for what he had done, and he had meant it while knowing that he could not ever take back the scars on her cheek. The mere fact that he was sorry, that he had changed, was enough. Foxes could be kind, bunnies could be jerks. Could be savage. And Gid was capable of feeling...

Nick was capable of feeling.

They were different, but the same and sweet cheese and crackers had she messed up. Judy said all mammals had multitudinous opportunities, but did they? Did Nick, who hustled pawpsicles because heck, even Bogo wouldn't listen to him? Did she, who was given parking duty for the pure and simple fact that she was a rabbit and not a bear or an elephant? They were all the same, underneath the fur and stereotypes and biology. They wanted to be treated fairly. And yet they weren't, by so many, including her. She had wrongly accused so many innocents of savagery due to biology when they had been inflicted with a plant.

Judy drove back to Zootopia because of the nighthowlers, because she could right what she had done wrong, and because there were so many mammals she owed an apology to. Especially Nick.

* * *

Judy never brought up the Gideon Gray incident to Nick, or explained why she had flinched when he had lifted his paws in anger against her. When Nick had gotten (rightfully) angry after the conference, all she had seen was Gideon unsheathing his claws, lifting a paw, and swiping her cheek while she cowered. She was wrong, of course. Nick was not Gideon and not all foxes were Gideon, but she couldn't stop her brain from seeing Gideon. "Do you think I'm going to," Nick had said, "eat you?" His teeth had been bared, and while Judy never once believed that Nick would harm her, she saw Gideon. Gideon had harmed her.

Nick found the scars himself, some months after the Bellwether case. Their latest case had occurred in the rainforest district while undercover, and Nick was covered in mud and bemoaning how his beloved tail had been dirtied by Judy's antics. "I expect an apology." He said mournfully as the two walked slowly back to the road. Judy had called their chief, requesting that they rendezvous at their current location to discuss further backup and what she and Nick needed to do next. They were investigating a murder, and so far the case was proving to be exceedingly tricky.

Judy shot him a disdainful look and flattened her ears in mild annoyance. She was less dirty than Nick, but her fur wasn't in place and it was damp. When the two stepped under the dim light of the street lamps, Nick turned to offer some snarky remark or another but stopped short, startled. "What?" Judy groaned tiredly.

"Your cheek, Carrots." Nick said plainly, emerald eyes narrowing as he studied her left cheek.

Judy had a sinking feeling that she knew what he was referring to and attempted to laugh it off, "It's not as dirty as yours, trust me." She turned from her partner but still felt his gaze. Curse him and his nocturnal eyesight, she thought with an inward sigh.

"No, Fluff, the scars." Nick lifted a paw, but quickly dropped it again as he assessed the rabbits crossed arms and focused stance. "...was it bad?"

Judy actually laughed at that, and shook her head, her damp ears flopping a bit, "No, they're old." She dismissed them with a wave of her paw, as if telling her partner not to worry about it. Nick, however, had other ideas.

Before the scars had healed completely, she had to deal with a stream of hostile comments about foxes from whomever happened to notice them. Nick, who could be terribly hard to read, would probably lapse into silence when he realized that Judy had judged him based solely on another fox's actions. She was different now, and she hoped that Nick knew that. But still. There was no point in rehashing the past.

"I know." Nick said. "I think I would have noticed if you came into work with a cut like that that." The pair fell silent, and Judy resisted the urge to smooth her fur back over the lines marring her cheek. It wouldn't have made a difference because Nick still knew they were there, but perhaps it would have made her feel a bit more comfortable.

Nick's emerald eyes caught hers, and as if asking for permission, he held a paw out to her cheek. Judy gazed back steadily, refusing to duck her head and deny the unspoken request. Nick's paw traced the lines idly, and a small frown formed on his snout. "If you don't mind me asking, what happened?"

"Childhood bully. It's no big deal." Judy shrugged Nick's paw away and turned. She turned and searched into the night, walking forward towards their parked cruiser, and Nick fell into step beside her.

Nick didn't reply for a long moment, but he was clever and he knew Judy well. "It was a fox, wasn't it." It was a statement, not a question. "You can tell me, Judy. I won't be upset, you know." His voice was softer and less snarky than normal, and Judy's defenses dropped.

She turned around, violet eyes finding Nick's. "Yeah. There was only one fox in the Tri-Burrows that I knew pretty well and he happened to be a bully. There was this talent show thing during the Carrot Days Festival, so I enlisted a couple friends and we put on this play. After, Gi - the bully stole some of my friends tickets to the fair. So I...well...I…"

"Did the Judy Hopps thing?" Nick supplied with a half-smirk. He couldn't help but be amused by the brazen bunny's antics, but Judy tapped her foot in thought for a moment. She had even 'done her thing' in uniform. What goes around, comes around

Judy rolled her eyes, "Yeah, sure. I did my thing, and he decided to teach me a lesson. Told me all I was ever gonna be was…" _a dumb bunny_ "well, he wasn't nice about it, but I proved him wrong in the end. He proved me wrong, too. He's actually a really good guy now. We're friends, even." Judy smiled a bit at that.

"I'm sorry, Carrots." Nick said, shaking his head, "That's why you flinched at that conference, isn't it?" Nick looked unfairly guilty, and Judy gripped his arm with her paw.

"Stop, Nick. It wasn't a big deal. I had just insulted you and every other predator in Zootopia, and I deserved what you said."

"But I made you think I was actually going to hurt you." Nick sounded distant, but Judy rapidly shook her head.

"No. I didn't. I only saw Gideon when you picked up your paws, but I never thought you were going to act on it. My actions weren't justified either - it was never right for me to assume you were like Gideon simply because you're a fox." Judy looked at her partner pleadingly, and his expression had melted back into something unreadable.

Nick looped an arm around the bunny and dragging her forward a few steps with him, "Well. It didn't make it right for me to assume you were dumb and unable to be more than a meter maid because you were a bunny, right? We've all been guilty, Carrots. You know that. I'm sorry, by the way."

Judy pressed her face into Nick's uniform before pulling away, "Me, too."

Nick smirked, "Enough of the apologies for now, I think. That okay?" He meant it, and for that Judy was glad. But she couldn't help but add her trademark tagline.

Judy flashed a smile, "So long as we try to make ourselves and the world better." She punched his arm lightly, and spotting Bogo, dashed off towards the buffalo with Nick trailing behind.

Judy had made her mistakes before, but they were in the past, and she was focused and intent on keeping her mind open...and making the world a better place, because after all, anyone could be anything with hard work and some determination. She was never going to be anything less than enthusiastic and ambitious, and by using that, she knew she could make the world a bit easier for others to live in.

And she couldn't wait to accomplish that.

 **A/N:**

 **I wrote a Zootopia fic. Whoa.**

 **I may add a couple chapters that look into prejudice from other character's POV, such as Bogo and Nick, depending on time and other life commitments. The holidays and finals season are always so busy, but I can try!**

 **Please R &R, and let me know what you think!**

 **Cheers!**

 **~HS1**


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